The Social Issues Tattler

Sunday, November 20, 2005
If these imitators were people, I would embrace their genocide.

Lately I've been reading a about a lot of stupid people parroting my Tattler blog. There are too many to list all of them here, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to try. I propose that we all agree, here and now, to strike all blogs but one about Social Issues, from our collective minds for the betterment of humanity.

The Other Blogs: The word for so many "Tattler-like blogs" now, is literally shorthand for "boring;" a vulgar, overused idea that strikes your ear with the dull thud of a cudgel to the soft spot of a child. It's an attempt used by creative drop outs to give legitimacy to their shallow stolen opinions and amateur writing that seems to be permanently stuck in first draft hell. Looking at the writing of their blogs, one would expect someone who is able to link a few words together to form a decent sentence, or believe that if they attempt to write anything, they've been at it for years, and have honed their craft and improved their writing since it's usually safe to assume that if someone does something long enough, he or she will eventually not suck at it. Even with lowered expectations, you'll get a shotgun blast of disappointment in your face, visiting these blogs.

It's an unspoken rule now, that every blog must use the same style as the Tattler but with: long, slender columns of annoyingly condensed text, thousands of inane comments, plugs for shitty rooms, and more links to yet more Tattleresque blogs

Their blogs: Term used to describe anyone with enough time to ape every bit of Tattler minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about copy cats is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a mention of the lesser blogger's site to send their ego into orbit. Zippergate and strawberry juice copy the entire Tatter under their name. Others just copy style and substance.

God forbid their blog gets mentioned in a room. If you thought it was impossible for a certain blogger to get more pious than she was, wait until you see the shit storm of self-righteous save-the-world bullshit after her blog is mentioned attacking the Tattler. Suddenly the boring, mild-mannered Feta Cheese you once knew will turn into Mother Theresa, and single handedly take it upon herself to end world hunger with her stupid opinions to band people from her room groupies consisting of smug dipshits.

Tattler: What you call a trivial or largely inconsequential blog once unique to social issues participants.

Copying: If minds had anuses, copying would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump.

Boring Tattler Type: The "Tattler type" is the new buzz word that describes what has happened to the hundreds of Tattler look-a-likes. It's what idiots like to call "in my own words" but is a collection of unoriginal ramblings, otherwise known as a tragedy.

Tattlermania: Like all other manias, except relating to the infatuation of copying the Tattler. It's one step above the more caustic phrase "thief." Thankfully the latter hasn't caught on to the extent of its brethren, but that doesn't stop me from punching anyone who does it in the dick.

The Rattler: Some prick thought it would be clever to spell "Tattler" using the letter "r" in the title. Wow, real clever, dipshit. How did you come up with that one?

Bucketful of Worms: http://www.best-world-website.com/links.html The only site worthy of visiting. It's original, well written, humorous, creative, and honest. I do hope they will allow me a posting from time to time.

It's been said; "too many cooks spoil the stew", and without a doubt this is true. There are far too many blogs writing about the same people and so it is with deep regret that I take The Tattler out of the running.

I've enjoyed the writing, enjoyed the identity guessing games, enjoyed the emails (both good and bad), enjoyed the compliments, and ignored the critics.

Thank you all
The Tattler.