The Social Issues Tattler

Friday, October 21, 2005
If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?

The estrogen was flying today like swallows to Cpistrano. It was a woman's war zone, and the gonad group sat silent, so afraid their boys would be hanging from yardarms if a tiny utterance fell from their lips. GoddessofSomething, and Isabellah, took more jabs at each other than were countable, and it ended with Goddess inviting Isabellah over for a wall papering party. Isabellah promised she would drop by and provide the needed case of gin to make it through the session. It seems Goddess is angry with Isabellah because of Isabellah's marriage. This coming from a woman who flies through men like laxatives through a Canada goose. What possible business could it be of Miss Goody Goddess if Isabellah's husband is Marquis de Sade himself? Interesting, that Goddess has such a vested interest in others marriages. Isabellah, on the other hand, tried to calm the waters, make a joke of the situation, even ignore the pathetic and rather sick comments from Goddess, ranging from " make me a sammich with your one arm", to singing

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long'
Til I'm gonna need

This song was a reference to an arm disability Isabellah has. This coming from the Lady of Liver Damage. Goddess was so drunk on the mic, eventually her words slurred into one long continuum of nonsense. Goddess tried to correct Crabby on the pronunciation of the word " plethora" by saying it was " pleth aura". Crabfisherman then foolishly jumped into the middle of the fur fling, and immediately had his eyes scratched out by Isabellah. He was last seen applying antiseptic in the general area of his genital. Isabellah, soon angered , and sang a tune back to Goddess---

Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin.
Could have been three or four six-packs,
I don't know, but look at the mess I'm in,
My head is like a football, I think I'm gonna die,
Tell me, me oh me oh my,Wasn't that a party?

Isabellah left the room in a cloud of anger, Goddess said "disingenuous" for the ten thousandth time, and the absolutely amazing thing about it all, was that the two biggest whiners of the " they are picking on me " crowd, were running the room, and did nothing.

Crazy Cajun and Sensibly Forward will surely cry " laundry, I was doing laundry", or in Crazy's case, " Brain surgery, I was doing brain surgery", but even a rock knew they were glued to their speakers, flying private messages back and forth to each other in sheer delight of the mess they were watching unfold. MelodyLane was scratching out Crazy's eyes over rumors Crazy had been spreading in rooms about Miss Lane. Seems Crazy has discovered yet another author of the Tattler, and this time it's MelodyLane. Crazy, you couldn't sniff out limburger cheese with a blood hound's snout. Your time would be better spent digging for truffles under trees. At least you'd have money in your pocket and not just mud on your face. Athena jumped into the battle, defending MelodyLane's accusations of Crazy. As always, Crazy went silent when caught with her tongue in a teapot's tempest. Sensibly the keeper of all that is truth, sat on her huge haunches as lies about ladies fell like colored leaves in November. Truth must only matter when it's convenient to her cause. Otherwise, truth takes a vacation in the Gondor room. Sensibly and Crazy, the new team of tormentors in Social Issues are the sort of people that would never give you a clean shot between the eyes, but rather they would prefer their victim flop and bleed a slow death for days.

Another delightful moment in this room, was when Larry_007, was on the mic discussing the merits of Billy Graham, while Scarlet Begonias was discussing oral sex in text. It just seems so wrong. "scarlet_begonias: i give really good head" This girl is a walking poster for a month long stay at the Miss Manners School of Etiquette.

MothersBruleSioux, opened her room last evening, with the intent of clearing up the " Money , Money, Who's got the Money" game rules. Tornado was invited, Starlyin too, (who declined), and as the throngs of curious filled the Coliseum seats, the lions gnawed at the doors to be freed and eat the gladiators. Andrea stood with raised white flag in her delicate hand, and as silence fell like a two year old's shitty diaper, she dropped the flag and the fray began. Mothers said she did send Tornado fifty Lakota dollars, and to the cheers of " prove it, show us the address", Mothers declined to break terms of service. Tornado then admitted he gave Mothers his address for just that purpose, because Mothers wanted to send money to help the man's friend out. Tornado never received the money, and Mothers sent it; there in lies the mystery. Does it really matter, when one person cared for a friend, and another tried to help. It seemed a win/win situation for both. Conservative Atheist donned a hat, so did Sally OMally, and the room became a nightmare of dotting, bouncing and child's play that is not worthy of further comment, but to say "Mothers, what the hell were you thinking when you gave the code out to everyone? "

Kaboom and Luan (room is in Luan's name) have a decent room, and they desperately try to keep it that way. If some fool tries to start a fight, carry a rumor, poke the pleasant, they are directed to the door. This room is filled with nice people, wanting a good time. Excellent job you two.

SpudSpud has his room open and working on building numbers up. He still uses the words "JesusLanders" in every sentence, followed by " I have no interest in Jesusland (his silly word for the USA)" , but he continues to keep the country of his discontentment a topic of conversation ad nauseam. Come on Spud, there has to be something worth talking about in all of Europe, even a good old haggis chatter would be better than your constant misstatements about the United States of America. You really are starting to sound like boy who was shunned by Miss Liberty herself.

Invitations are being sent out for the annual Halloween parties hosted by Starlyin in one corner , and Sensibly Forward in another (not in Gondor room, but her very own room). Starlyin is offering up fun and frivolity, with everyone changing names, followed by a thrilling round of " Guess the Idiot". Sensibly will be holding a " pumpkin carving contest" (don't ask us, we don't understand either), with games of " Bobbing for Boneheads, Pin the tail on Possil, Shoot the Messenger, Bone Picking and Mud Slinging. A great time should be had by all.

We have a few costume suggestions for the event filled October 31st night. No one will ever guess it's you.

Sensibly Forward --- The Tin Man (If she only had a heart )

Tornado ---- The cowardly lion

Crazy Cajun --- Stephen Hawking

EyeAm ---- Einstein

Andrea --- Glinda

Chat Attack --- An orator

Starlyin --- A victim

Greeneyes --- Hemingway

Shamrock ---- Rhodes Scholar

PossilFossil --- Hugh Hefner

E. Pluribus ---- Lady Justice

Kaboom ---- Fabio

Shellycan --- An American

Crabfisherman --- Mother Teresa

Boaz Frankel ---- Degenerate (no costume needed)

Rykielle ---- The woman in her picture

Isabellah --- A man

Ice Crusher --- A woman

Voo --- Grand Wizard

Swan Songstress --- A temper

SpudSpud ---- A french fly

Diana --- A library

AddyDawn --- Annie (the sun will come out tomorrow)

Iliad ---- Adonis

Spicy Cajun Pepper --- A pizza

Karen Dances ---- A republican

Karl Az --- God

God --- Gonads (and keep them after the party, they'll come in handy with Goddess)

Zulu --- An appearance

Strawberry Juice --- A sense of humor ( if you can find one )

CyndyUK --- Cheshire's Cat

Anthony K --- An open mind

Goast --- Ghost Writer

Tickles --- A writer

Scarlet Begonias --- Virgin Mary

Firewoman --- Eva Braun

jojo --- A spine

Charles of New York --- David Bowie

Sally OMally --- WitWit

Virginia 1776 --- A Brit

Slammer --- Nelson Mandela



Idiot of the day--- GoddessofSomething

Admin of the day --- Luan

Nice Person of the day --- MothersBruleSioux ( takes courage to answer the accuser)

Quote of the day ---- ezhaulmike_209: pont cunter pont ( And Shakespeare spins )

Mailbag:

Whoever you are....I love you!!

Wayne_9999

The Tattler: (hugging trophy you sent us) We haven't had an orthodox career, and We've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time we didn't feel it, but this time we feel it, and we can't deny the fact that you like us, right now, you like us! You do like us. You really do like us! (tears falling, is helped off stage)


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