The Social Issues Tattler
Monday, November 07, 2005
Self- conceit may lead to self-destruction.
Boaz Frankel has done more harm to Social Issues than McDonalds has done to waistlines. Because of his rude , crude and obnoxious behavior, Starlyin's once good room, has been reduced to a waiting room. People searching for decent evening conversation, sit silent and patient in this room, twiddling their thumbs, until a decent room opens. Usually that room will be "Happy Hour", hosted by Luan and Kaboom. Starlyin believes the mass exodus is because she won't allow the words "The Tattler" to be uttered within the hallowed halls of her mighty Queendom, but truth be told, people leave because she and her pet chimp Boaz, won't allow freedom of thought. When this pair of controlling chimps choose not to like something, then everyone must despise it. Boaz uses words like "nigger", and everyone must suffer through his crass, sophomoric, asinine, boorish, loutish, obtuse, vulgar, and witless ways, or suffer the wrath of this idiotic pair's self-limiting, self-congratulatory petulant pigmies minds. As more and more people have removed themselves quietly from the dung heap called "Social Issues Exposed", Starlyin and Boaz, had moments of doubt, but last night, when people piled in once again, the egotistical and ever bombastic Boaz shouted "See Starlyin, I told you they would be back." followed by his witch's cackle. Again the room emptied, and there they sat with wonderment and delusion as their only guests.
Again tonight Boaz and Starlyin are taunting people in their room with:
Boaz:
I would like to know why all of you people sit here and then leave are unpatriotic to our room Star. I want you people to know that if you leave, you are not welcome back here. I would tell you to get the hell out now, but..........
Joan_30
I'll tell you what, when you buy my computer, you can tell me what to do.
Starylin:
I agree Joan, but don't be surprised you are not welcomed back, and when you are not welcomed, don't bitch to me.
What arrogance ! Who in the hell do these two people think they are?
The Boazlyin Mutiny
The take-charge captain explains that he wants a dumber, more degenerative, shit-and-gossip room - he won't tolerate "sub-standard performance" from the crew, such as non-flapping lips about others, unclean jokes- unshaven crotches, and unpublished nude pictures of women. Queeg-Boaz tells his steadfast and stalwart executive officer, second-in-command Lieutenant Foolish-Starlyin:
Queeg-Boaz:
There are four ways of doing things on board my room. The right way, the wrong way, the decent way, and my way. If you do things my way, we'll get along...
(During the meeting, Boaz reveals one of his nervous habits - rolling his balls in one shaking hand.)
Obsessed by small details, Queeg-Boaz foolishly chooses to enforce the no Tattler talk but at an inopportune moment a rare outburst of "The Tatter is Out" happens. While enraged with seaman named Possil for the crime. Following strict orders from the preoccupied Queeg-Boaz to keep the room on course, the navigating helmsman Starlyin faithfully proceeds to get the room back to a circular path. Afterwards, Queeg-Boaz irrationally blames the disaster on a faulty and defective E Pluribus Unum.
Three more incidents build a strong case against Queeg-Boaz's mental incapacity:
during the showing of Angie's boobs, Queeg-Boaz has a temper tantrum with the disrespectful comments in the room, and immediately suspends their ability to mic for 30 days
during a gossip training drill, Queeg-Boaz threatens to dot any crew member not showing proper hate "three-days' red dot," but when humiliated by the crew's deceptive resistance antics, announces that the innocent will be punished with the guilty: "There will be no laughing for any crew member for three months!"
a full-scale investigation of the crew members is called to determine who pilfered a quart of frozen crabs from crabfisherman - that was reserved for he and Starlyin. Drawing from his experience in a previous pilfered gefilte fish investigation, Queeg-Boaz orders a vain "detective work" dragnet (including strip-searches of crew members, done by himself) for a duplicate (non-existent)room code to the room, and refuses to believe the real explanation that Starlyin has the crabs.
Kaboom and Luan:
Boaz, We're sorry, but you're a sick man. We're relieving you as captain of the ship under Article 184.TOS.
(Foolish-Starlyin and Queeq-Boaz sit alone in Social Issues Exposed.)
Queeg-Boaz:
"They were all disloyal. I tried to run the room properly by the book, but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wants to walk around having fun that's all right, let them! Take the bouncing of E.Pluribus and Isabellah and Jannhere - defective equipment, no more, no less. But they encouraged the crew to go around, scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about me screaming in circles and then they called me 'Old Yellowstain in his Pants.' I was to blame for Isabellah's incompetence and poor seamanship? E. Pluribus was the perfect gentleman, but not Captain Queeg-Boaz. Ah, but the crabs! That's, that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with, with geometric logic, that, that, I had those damn crabs in my pants. And I would have produced the crabs if they hadn't meant I had to lose my crotch friends. I, I know now they were only trying to protect some silly girl with big boobs to expose. (He pauses - looks at all the questioning faces that stare back at him, and realizes that he has been ranting and raving, and rolling his balls between his fingers) Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory..."
**************************************************************************************
Speaking of nuts, Crazy Cajun staggered into Bedknobs and Broomsticks today, with Elvis Presley's drug cabinet under her arm. Crazy had a short discussion with AnthonyK on the loss of splicing factor ASF/SF2 induces G2 cell cycle arrest and apoptosis, but inhibits internucleosomal DNA fragmentation. A short synopsis of the conversation follows:
AnthonyK:
It must be in the genes.
CrazyCajun:
I dat wars dere damn jeans.
AnthonyK:
No Crazy, I meant gene, the hereditary unit consisting of a sequence of DNA that occupies a specific location on a chromosome and determines a particular characteristic in an organism. Genes undergo mutation when their DNA sequence changes.... Oh, it's not right when I have to explain it all.
CrazyCajun:
What? What ya'll done sayin dat my jeans aren't gawd nuff, Yankee jeans?
AnthonyK:
I'm gonna thump ya.
CrazyCajun:
My jeans aint in no dams dump, you all on crack or sumfin?
************************************************************************
JoJo, look up sycophant, you'll see your picture staring back at you.
Zulu Magoo is back, Welcome home Zulu.
Happy Hour is quickly turning the way of many rooms. The clique is allowed to do just about anything, but strangers are dotted and told to "Be Happy". Last evening Raisin Cane brought more hate, vulgarity, and pure racism to the room, but was allowed to rant on forever. This might be growing pains for Luan and Kaboom, there is hope they will see that equity is the only rule that makes a room run well. On the bright side, Truman and Goatlove were discussing Courtney Love in great depth...Much like Strawberry Juice and Spud Spud, discussing ethics.
Just when you think people can't get any lower, Zippergate, (the boy of stolen money fame) who daily steals "The Tatter", for his website, Sensibly Forward and Tornado (Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee ) instill one's faith that even the title " white trash" is too good for them. Sensibly who pretends to be the Mother Goose of goodness was cheering on her pet turnips Tornado and Zippergate as the money snatcher played tapes of Jacqui. Tornado took credit for what he assumed he had accomplished with Jacqui "boy did I piss her off". Too bad Tornado couldn't take credit for killing his dogs and cats from lack of care.
A Riddle about the Tattler, and it is solvable ;
I'm not American, Canadian, nor British, nor fair
It's shameful you think the world stops there
I'm not a pack nor a group, nor a few, nor a pair
My appearances in Social Issues have been so rare.
Idiot of the day ---Boaz Frankel
Admin of the day --- Grunto (always a good room )
Nice person of the day --- Zulu
Quote of the day ---- slammer_18: m a like i said i did'nt say why i said they did and they do
Mailbag:
hey man
i just wanted to say fire is the best friend anyone could have and i am damn lucky for her...so its cool u said that about her....and i still think u rock and that ur one of the most creative, articulate and witty people ive ever encountered....and as for the people that cant laugh at themselves...thats on them...lifes too short to get offended over stupid shit....u do a great job....menominon
scar
o and PS...it was ME who brought up the anal bead convo....after all..i am a nun with an anal bead crufix
The Tattler: A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out, firewoman is your real friend.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Self- conceit may lead to self-destruction.
Boaz Frankel has done more harm to Social Issues than McDonalds has done to waistlines. Because of his rude , crude and obnoxious behavior, Starlyin's once good room, has been reduced to a waiting room. People searching for decent evening conversation, sit silent and patient in this room, twiddling their thumbs, until a decent room opens. Usually that room will be "Happy Hour", hosted by Luan and Kaboom. Starlyin believes the mass exodus is because she won't allow the words "The Tattler" to be uttered within the hallowed halls of her mighty Queendom, but truth be told, people leave because she and her pet chimp Boaz, won't allow freedom of thought. When this pair of controlling chimps choose not to like something, then everyone must despise it. Boaz uses words like "nigger", and everyone must suffer through his crass, sophomoric, asinine, boorish, loutish, obtuse, vulgar, and witless ways, or suffer the wrath of this idiotic pair's self-limiting, self-congratulatory petulant pigmies minds. As more and more people have removed themselves quietly from the dung heap called "Social Issues Exposed", Starlyin and Boaz, had moments of doubt, but last night, when people piled in once again, the egotistical and ever bombastic Boaz shouted "See Starlyin, I told you they would be back." followed by his witch's cackle. Again the room emptied, and there they sat with wonderment and delusion as their only guests.
Again tonight Boaz and Starlyin are taunting people in their room with:
Boaz:
I would like to know why all of you people sit here and then leave are unpatriotic to our room Star. I want you people to know that if you leave, you are not welcome back here. I would tell you to get the hell out now, but..........
Joan_30
I'll tell you what, when you buy my computer, you can tell me what to do.
Starylin:
I agree Joan, but don't be surprised you are not welcomed back, and when you are not welcomed, don't bitch to me.
What arrogance ! Who in the hell do these two people think they are?
The Boazlyin Mutiny
The take-charge captain explains that he wants a dumber, more degenerative, shit-and-gossip room - he won't tolerate "sub-standard performance" from the crew, such as non-flapping lips about others, unclean jokes- unshaven crotches, and unpublished nude pictures of women. Queeg-Boaz tells his steadfast and stalwart executive officer, second-in-command Lieutenant Foolish-Starlyin:
Queeg-Boaz:
There are four ways of doing things on board my room. The right way, the wrong way, the decent way, and my way. If you do things my way, we'll get along...
(During the meeting, Boaz reveals one of his nervous habits - rolling his balls in one shaking hand.)
Obsessed by small details, Queeg-Boaz foolishly chooses to enforce the no Tattler talk but at an inopportune moment a rare outburst of "The Tatter is Out" happens. While enraged with seaman named Possil for the crime. Following strict orders from the preoccupied Queeg-Boaz to keep the room on course, the navigating helmsman Starlyin faithfully proceeds to get the room back to a circular path. Afterwards, Queeg-Boaz irrationally blames the disaster on a faulty and defective E Pluribus Unum.
Three more incidents build a strong case against Queeg-Boaz's mental incapacity:
during the showing of Angie's boobs, Queeg-Boaz has a temper tantrum with the disrespectful comments in the room, and immediately suspends their ability to mic for 30 days
during a gossip training drill, Queeg-Boaz threatens to dot any crew member not showing proper hate "three-days' red dot," but when humiliated by the crew's deceptive resistance antics, announces that the innocent will be punished with the guilty: "There will be no laughing for any crew member for three months!"
a full-scale investigation of the crew members is called to determine who pilfered a quart of frozen crabs from crabfisherman - that was reserved for he and Starlyin. Drawing from his experience in a previous pilfered gefilte fish investigation, Queeg-Boaz orders a vain "detective work" dragnet (including strip-searches of crew members, done by himself) for a duplicate (non-existent)room code to the room, and refuses to believe the real explanation that Starlyin has the crabs.
Kaboom and Luan:
Boaz, We're sorry, but you're a sick man. We're relieving you as captain of the ship under Article 184.TOS.
(Foolish-Starlyin and Queeq-Boaz sit alone in Social Issues Exposed.)
Queeg-Boaz:
"They were all disloyal. I tried to run the room properly by the book, but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wants to walk around having fun that's all right, let them! Take the bouncing of E.Pluribus and Isabellah and Jannhere - defective equipment, no more, no less. But they encouraged the crew to go around, scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about me screaming in circles and then they called me 'Old Yellowstain in his Pants.' I was to blame for Isabellah's incompetence and poor seamanship? E. Pluribus was the perfect gentleman, but not Captain Queeg-Boaz. Ah, but the crabs! That's, that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with, with geometric logic, that, that, I had those damn crabs in my pants. And I would have produced the crabs if they hadn't meant I had to lose my crotch friends. I, I know now they were only trying to protect some silly girl with big boobs to expose. (He pauses - looks at all the questioning faces that stare back at him, and realizes that he has been ranting and raving, and rolling his balls between his fingers) Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory..."
**************************************************************************************
Speaking of nuts, Crazy Cajun staggered into Bedknobs and Broomsticks today, with Elvis Presley's drug cabinet under her arm. Crazy had a short discussion with AnthonyK on the loss of splicing factor ASF/SF2 induces G2 cell cycle arrest and apoptosis, but inhibits internucleosomal DNA fragmentation. A short synopsis of the conversation follows:
AnthonyK:
It must be in the genes.
CrazyCajun:
I dat wars dere damn jeans.
AnthonyK:
No Crazy, I meant gene, the hereditary unit consisting of a sequence of DNA that occupies a specific location on a chromosome and determines a particular characteristic in an organism. Genes undergo mutation when their DNA sequence changes.... Oh, it's not right when I have to explain it all.
CrazyCajun:
What? What ya'll done sayin dat my jeans aren't gawd nuff, Yankee jeans?
AnthonyK:
I'm gonna thump ya.
CrazyCajun:
My jeans aint in no dams dump, you all on crack or sumfin?
************************************************************************
JoJo, look up sycophant, you'll see your picture staring back at you.
Zulu Magoo is back, Welcome home Zulu.
Happy Hour is quickly turning the way of many rooms. The clique is allowed to do just about anything, but strangers are dotted and told to "Be Happy". Last evening Raisin Cane brought more hate, vulgarity, and pure racism to the room, but was allowed to rant on forever. This might be growing pains for Luan and Kaboom, there is hope they will see that equity is the only rule that makes a room run well. On the bright side, Truman and Goatlove were discussing Courtney Love in great depth...Much like Strawberry Juice and Spud Spud, discussing ethics.
Just when you think people can't get any lower, Zippergate, (the boy of stolen money fame) who daily steals "The Tatter", for his website, Sensibly Forward and Tornado (Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee ) instill one's faith that even the title " white trash" is too good for them. Sensibly who pretends to be the Mother Goose of goodness was cheering on her pet turnips Tornado and Zippergate as the money snatcher played tapes of Jacqui. Tornado took credit for what he assumed he had accomplished with Jacqui "boy did I piss her off". Too bad Tornado couldn't take credit for killing his dogs and cats from lack of care.
A Riddle about the Tattler, and it is solvable ;
I'm not American, Canadian, nor British, nor fair
It's shameful you think the world stops there
I'm not a pack nor a group, nor a few, nor a pair
My appearances in Social Issues have been so rare.
Idiot of the day ---Boaz Frankel
Admin of the day --- Grunto (always a good room )
Nice person of the day --- Zulu
Quote of the day ---- slammer_18: m a like i said i did'nt say why i said they did and they do
Mailbag:
hey man
i just wanted to say fire is the best friend anyone could have and i am damn lucky for her...so its cool u said that about her....and i still think u rock and that ur one of the most creative, articulate and witty people ive ever encountered....and as for the people that cant laugh at themselves...thats on them...lifes too short to get offended over stupid shit....u do a great job....menominon
scar
o and PS...it was ME who brought up the anal bead convo....after all..i am a nun with an anal bead crufix
The Tattler: A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out, firewoman is your real friend.
posted by Eye Witness at 2:27 AM
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