The Social Issues Tattler
Friday, October 28, 2005
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
FADE FROM BLACK: Donette Starlyin Accordeone sitting behind her desk.
Boaz (seated in front of the Donette's desk)
Boaz:
"I believe in our room. Our room is good for Social Issues. We had them fooled, and then came The Tattler. They believed our lies, think like us, and cluster at our feet, but one night The Tattler showed up, posted a site, made them vulnerable, and then took them away. They resisted at first, but the truth kept coming. So we beat them, and we attacked them, and we banned them, and we berated them, and still they kept reading that hateful rag. I cry for them, I cry for us. Will we ever be powerful again?"
Boaz breaks down. (The Donette gestures to crabfisherman to give Boaz a drink)
Boaz:
"Sorry” (Boaz, taking a drink, dribbles water down his chin.) I went to Feta Cheese, like a good whiner. The Tattler was brought to trial, but Google set them free. They went free that very day! I stood up to them like a fool. And those bastards spit in my face." Then Feta Cheese said “For justice you must go to Donette Accordeone."
Donette Starlyin Accordeone (sitting behind her desk, petting bunny):
Donette Accordeone:
"Why did you go to the Feta? Why didn't you come to me first?"
Boaz:
"I will give you anything. But do what I beg you to do."
Donette Accordone:
"What is it you want done?"
(Boaz gets up to whisper into the Donette's ear)
Donette Accordone:
"That I cannot do."
Boaz:
"I'll give you anything you ask."
Donette Accordone:
We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your room for gossiping, even though my friends tell me you gossip all the time. But let's be honest: you never wanted my friendship. You were afraid to be in my debt.
Boaz:
"I didn't want to be greeneyes.
Donette Accodeone:
I understand. You found paradise with the Divas, had a good room, made many a train wreck. The red admins protected you. And you didn't need me. But now you come to me and say -- "Donette Accordeone get the Tattler off my back." You don't even think to call me Godmother. Instead, you make a room to mock and threaten the Tattler, and now you ask for the death of that rag.
Donette Accodeone (stands and turns her back to Boaz):
Donette Accodeone:
"Boaz, Boaz, (shaking her head in disgust) What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me, this scum Tattler would be suffering this very day. Your enemy is my enemy and together we can make them suffer.
Boaz: (kneeling before the Donette)
Boaz:
"Godmother?"
Donette Accordeone (after Boaz kisses her ass)
Donette Accordeone:
Some day, I'll call upon you to service me. But until that day accept justice as a gift.
Boaz (as he leaves the room)
"Grazie, Godmother."
Donette Accordeone (to US Angel and Crabfisherman)
Get some good people, people that aren't going to blab their mouths off. We are not gossips no matter what The Tattler says. I want the head of the crippled pigeon in The Tattler's bed by midnight.
Fade to bedroom of The Tattler. (Sleeping peacefully in bed, cuddling a picture of the crippled pigeon. Feels something warm at foot of bed. Awakes, sits up, and lifts the sheets.
(The Tattler smiles when a headless crab is found stuffed between the sheets.)
The ban on Tattler talk is still in effect in the land of Boazlyin. A well regimented troop of Tattlerettes can be seen scampering from the land of censorship around midnight. Kaboom and Luan, have a Tattler free room, where the unmanageable misfits gather to speak their minds, under the flag of freedom. It must feel wonderful for them to break the bonds of Boaz. Speaking of the King of Bullshit, why hasn't he followed through with his promise to expose The Tattler? Might it be, because every time Boaz exposes something, it's impossible to see it with the naked eye?
Starlyin has Mothers apology stuffed snuggly between her ample breasts, but it's always at the ready to be pulled out to declare self-righteousness, whenever the need arises (and even if it isn't). Is this the same Mothers and Starlyin team of a few weeks ago, who defended each other like mother bears at a fur sale? Starlyin spent endless hours reprimanding everyone from Possil to Pontius Pilate (no, not the new exercise craze, the old Roman guy), on the winning merits of Mothers. Today, Mothers is allowed in Starlyin's room to apologize and shut up, because she lied. Star be nimble, Star be quick, Star jump off your sacerdotal stick. When will Boaz be skewered, branded, sliced, diced and banished from your Queendom for the lies he told about you not long ago?
Mothers, don't get to thinking you have one tiny drop of decency in that minute mind of yours, because you are the root cause for more trouble in Social Issues since Lord Voo appeared on the horizon with a hot poker up his ass and a thorn in his paw. Today in Rotten Ronnie's room you were telling uniformed Brits that there is a Federal Law in the USA that prohibits the sale of alcohol beverages to Native Americans. You went on to say that "every time a white sells alcohol to a Native, they are breaking the law." --- " MothersBruleSioux: Just selling.. it period to Indians" mortie_2: Natives, who buys Alcohol, is breaking a Federal Law". Mothers, your bullshit is usually benign, but today you did an injustice to all decent Native Americans. Dancin' Waters, was doing the tango with the truth also, by saying “Native land is not sovereign land." MelodyLane and Swan Songtress (both non-natives), took you to task with your footloose and fancy free fallacies. If you could understand shame, you'd be drowning in it today. You giggle on mic calling Dan " Sweetheart" and " My Man", because you're looking for a little Lakota lovin' come October, well Mothers, when the dew is on the pumpkin, it's time for Dan's dink dunkin', but do Social Issues the greatest of pleasures by never allowing them to hear about the night:
A bunch of the Indians were whooping it up in the Lakota saloon;
The cat that was fed the anti freeze was hitting a screaming tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McScrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known as Lakota Loon.
When out of the night, which was fifty below, and into the din and glare,
There stumbled Slammer, fresh from the creeks, dog-dirty, and lookin for love.
He looked like a man with a foot in his mouth and scarcely the mind of a mouse,
Yet he tilted a poke in the Lakota's arse, and called for drinks for the house.
There was none could place the Lakotas mind, though we searched ourselves for a clue;
But we drank to her insanity, and the last to drink was Dangerous Dan McScrew.
Slammer, no words were repeated with greater warning than these to you RUN FORREST RUN. MothersBruleSioux: Slammer.. my brother huggsssssssss The last person Mothers said that too has a hatchet between the shoulder blades.
Shellycan, when you talk about being horny, you are like the 80 year old fat lady who wore a pink thong to the Queen's garden party; it just shouldn't be done.
JulieSam, twenty lashes with a rolled up Tattler, for using our name on that marvelous "Bucketful of Worms" website. If you are the only Mongolian sheep shagger left on the planet that has not been to this hilarious work of genius, click on comedy and spend some time laughing. For the best room by far in Social Issues, visit "Happy Hour", full of laughs , fun and song.
Isabellah has now gone all "fish and chips" on us. She's fallen for the Brits. There is no one who can play the damsel in distress character like Isabellah, and today Stefhaj was caught in her web of whimsy. Isabellah was having problems with a very confusing and technical bit of gadgetry, and Stefhaj, tossed his cloak over the predicament puddle to help.
Isabellah:
"Stef, I can't do it, I've tried and tried (sniff), and can you help me (giggle)."
Stefhaj:
I understand Isabellah, some do find it difficult, but you must persevere. When you do the rewards will be bountiful."
Isabellah:
"Stef, I've tried, really I have, but I can't do it."
Stef:
Isabellah, don't be afraid, I'm here, holding your hand every step of the way. Are you ready? Trust me please.
Isabellah:
I trust you Stef. Let's do it.
Stefhaj:
Here we go. First, take one lace in your left hand (that was not a leftie slam NotNeurastheniac), and take the other lace in your right hand. Carefully, cross the left lace over the right lace, and loop the left lace under, catching it up in a bow, circling the right lace round the bow, tucking it through the hoop, snatching both bows and pulling tightly. Voila, done. Do you have it Isabellah? Where you successful?
Isabellah: (long pause)
What's a lace ?
There was a bit of British banger bashing today, when KevinBritish called AnthonyK a mic hog, and AnthonyK countered with calling Kevin a Pius piss taker. Kevin is upset about being beat up in a room by some who weren't "nice" to him, and promises to repeat, this little girl with wet knickers story, until Jesus comes up with a good reason for hanging around with 12 guys in the desert. Any thoughts on that one Kevin?
Shellycan and sr dude talked about Canada and cars last night. It's been reported that 32 of the listeners have jumped off mountains, after poking sticks through their eyes, and ear drums.
Idiot of the day--- Boaz
Admin of the day --- Rotten Ronnie
Nice person of the day --- JulieSam (for having a laugh on us)
Quote of the day --- ezhaulmike_209: swan has that calf coombalathhingy going on crab (reward is offered for the first person to understand this)
Mailbag:
Dear miss,mz, madam.
As an avid reader of tatttler, i was so disappointed , in the format of broadsheet dated' 27th October 2005, Perhaps u were limited in time, and decided to take easy way out , to print a conglomoration of peurile; self seeking e-mails from the great unwashed; especially from ,;THE BROTHERHOOD ;, A SELF PROMOTING SET OF BORES, TOSSERS, AN EGOITISTS. What i want , NAY demand , as a reader, is some salacious ,satirical,ananlysis of the inane, banal,child phsychological ramblings of escaped mental patients.
I do not want to waste 3 hours, waiting for an inferior edition, simply because , you were behind ,in publishing, smarten up lassie!!!!!!!'
Further as a non paying subscriber, i may withdaw my registartion , if i pay nothing for a service? , i want the best nothing on off Please take this in the spirit in which it was sent , anger, frustration,and sheer bloody mindedness.
i remain ,yours faithfully trusting to an early reply.
The Possilfossil
PPS. What do u want for xmas ?
The Tattler: Sometimes you're the punchbowl, sometimes you're the turd.
Friday, October 28, 2005
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
FADE FROM BLACK: Donette Starlyin Accordeone sitting behind her desk.
Boaz (seated in front of the Donette's desk)
Boaz:
"I believe in our room. Our room is good for Social Issues. We had them fooled, and then came The Tattler. They believed our lies, think like us, and cluster at our feet, but one night The Tattler showed up, posted a site, made them vulnerable, and then took them away. They resisted at first, but the truth kept coming. So we beat them, and we attacked them, and we banned them, and we berated them, and still they kept reading that hateful rag. I cry for them, I cry for us. Will we ever be powerful again?"
Boaz breaks down. (The Donette gestures to crabfisherman to give Boaz a drink)
Boaz:
"Sorry” (Boaz, taking a drink, dribbles water down his chin.) I went to Feta Cheese, like a good whiner. The Tattler was brought to trial, but Google set them free. They went free that very day! I stood up to them like a fool. And those bastards spit in my face." Then Feta Cheese said “For justice you must go to Donette Accordeone."
Donette Starlyin Accordeone (sitting behind her desk, petting bunny):
Donette Accordeone:
"Why did you go to the Feta? Why didn't you come to me first?"
Boaz:
"I will give you anything. But do what I beg you to do."
Donette Accordone:
"What is it you want done?"
(Boaz gets up to whisper into the Donette's ear)
Donette Accordone:
"That I cannot do."
Boaz:
"I'll give you anything you ask."
Donette Accordone:
We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your room for gossiping, even though my friends tell me you gossip all the time. But let's be honest: you never wanted my friendship. You were afraid to be in my debt.
Boaz:
"I didn't want to be greeneyes.
Donette Accodeone:
I understand. You found paradise with the Divas, had a good room, made many a train wreck. The red admins protected you. And you didn't need me. But now you come to me and say -- "Donette Accordeone get the Tattler off my back." You don't even think to call me Godmother. Instead, you make a room to mock and threaten the Tattler, and now you ask for the death of that rag.
Donette Accodeone (stands and turns her back to Boaz):
Donette Accodeone:
"Boaz, Boaz, (shaking her head in disgust) What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me, this scum Tattler would be suffering this very day. Your enemy is my enemy and together we can make them suffer.
Boaz: (kneeling before the Donette)
Boaz:
"Godmother?"
Donette Accordeone (after Boaz kisses her ass)
Donette Accordeone:
Some day, I'll call upon you to service me. But until that day accept justice as a gift.
Boaz (as he leaves the room)
"Grazie, Godmother."
Donette Accordeone (to US Angel and Crabfisherman)
Get some good people, people that aren't going to blab their mouths off. We are not gossips no matter what The Tattler says. I want the head of the crippled pigeon in The Tattler's bed by midnight.
Fade to bedroom of The Tattler. (Sleeping peacefully in bed, cuddling a picture of the crippled pigeon. Feels something warm at foot of bed. Awakes, sits up, and lifts the sheets.
(The Tattler smiles when a headless crab is found stuffed between the sheets.)
The ban on Tattler talk is still in effect in the land of Boazlyin. A well regimented troop of Tattlerettes can be seen scampering from the land of censorship around midnight. Kaboom and Luan, have a Tattler free room, where the unmanageable misfits gather to speak their minds, under the flag of freedom. It must feel wonderful for them to break the bonds of Boaz. Speaking of the King of Bullshit, why hasn't he followed through with his promise to expose The Tattler? Might it be, because every time Boaz exposes something, it's impossible to see it with the naked eye?
Starlyin has Mothers apology stuffed snuggly between her ample breasts, but it's always at the ready to be pulled out to declare self-righteousness, whenever the need arises (and even if it isn't). Is this the same Mothers and Starlyin team of a few weeks ago, who defended each other like mother bears at a fur sale? Starlyin spent endless hours reprimanding everyone from Possil to Pontius Pilate (no, not the new exercise craze, the old Roman guy), on the winning merits of Mothers. Today, Mothers is allowed in Starlyin's room to apologize and shut up, because she lied. Star be nimble, Star be quick, Star jump off your sacerdotal stick. When will Boaz be skewered, branded, sliced, diced and banished from your Queendom for the lies he told about you not long ago?
Mothers, don't get to thinking you have one tiny drop of decency in that minute mind of yours, because you are the root cause for more trouble in Social Issues since Lord Voo appeared on the horizon with a hot poker up his ass and a thorn in his paw. Today in Rotten Ronnie's room you were telling uniformed Brits that there is a Federal Law in the USA that prohibits the sale of alcohol beverages to Native Americans. You went on to say that "every time a white sells alcohol to a Native, they are breaking the law." --- " MothersBruleSioux: Just selling.. it period to Indians" mortie_2: Natives, who buys Alcohol, is breaking a Federal Law". Mothers, your bullshit is usually benign, but today you did an injustice to all decent Native Americans. Dancin' Waters, was doing the tango with the truth also, by saying “Native land is not sovereign land." MelodyLane and Swan Songtress (both non-natives), took you to task with your footloose and fancy free fallacies. If you could understand shame, you'd be drowning in it today. You giggle on mic calling Dan " Sweetheart" and " My Man", because you're looking for a little Lakota lovin' come October, well Mothers, when the dew is on the pumpkin, it's time for Dan's dink dunkin', but do Social Issues the greatest of pleasures by never allowing them to hear about the night:
A bunch of the Indians were whooping it up in the Lakota saloon;
The cat that was fed the anti freeze was hitting a screaming tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McScrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o'-love, the lady that's known as Lakota Loon.
When out of the night, which was fifty below, and into the din and glare,
There stumbled Slammer, fresh from the creeks, dog-dirty, and lookin for love.
He looked like a man with a foot in his mouth and scarcely the mind of a mouse,
Yet he tilted a poke in the Lakota's arse, and called for drinks for the house.
There was none could place the Lakotas mind, though we searched ourselves for a clue;
But we drank to her insanity, and the last to drink was Dangerous Dan McScrew.
Slammer, no words were repeated with greater warning than these to you RUN FORREST RUN. MothersBruleSioux: Slammer.. my brother huggsssssssss The last person Mothers said that too has a hatchet between the shoulder blades.
Shellycan, when you talk about being horny, you are like the 80 year old fat lady who wore a pink thong to the Queen's garden party; it just shouldn't be done.
JulieSam, twenty lashes with a rolled up Tattler, for using our name on that marvelous "Bucketful of Worms" website. If you are the only Mongolian sheep shagger left on the planet that has not been to this hilarious work of genius, click on comedy and spend some time laughing. For the best room by far in Social Issues, visit "Happy Hour", full of laughs , fun and song.
Isabellah has now gone all "fish and chips" on us. She's fallen for the Brits. There is no one who can play the damsel in distress character like Isabellah, and today Stefhaj was caught in her web of whimsy. Isabellah was having problems with a very confusing and technical bit of gadgetry, and Stefhaj, tossed his cloak over the predicament puddle to help.
Isabellah:
"Stef, I can't do it, I've tried and tried (sniff), and can you help me (giggle)."
Stefhaj:
I understand Isabellah, some do find it difficult, but you must persevere. When you do the rewards will be bountiful."
Isabellah:
"Stef, I've tried, really I have, but I can't do it."
Stef:
Isabellah, don't be afraid, I'm here, holding your hand every step of the way. Are you ready? Trust me please.
Isabellah:
I trust you Stef. Let's do it.
Stefhaj:
Here we go. First, take one lace in your left hand (that was not a leftie slam NotNeurastheniac), and take the other lace in your right hand. Carefully, cross the left lace over the right lace, and loop the left lace under, catching it up in a bow, circling the right lace round the bow, tucking it through the hoop, snatching both bows and pulling tightly. Voila, done. Do you have it Isabellah? Where you successful?
Isabellah: (long pause)
What's a lace ?
There was a bit of British banger bashing today, when KevinBritish called AnthonyK a mic hog, and AnthonyK countered with calling Kevin a Pius piss taker. Kevin is upset about being beat up in a room by some who weren't "nice" to him, and promises to repeat, this little girl with wet knickers story, until Jesus comes up with a good reason for hanging around with 12 guys in the desert. Any thoughts on that one Kevin?
Shellycan and sr dude talked about Canada and cars last night. It's been reported that 32 of the listeners have jumped off mountains, after poking sticks through their eyes, and ear drums.
Idiot of the day--- Boaz
Admin of the day --- Rotten Ronnie
Nice person of the day --- JulieSam (for having a laugh on us)
Quote of the day --- ezhaulmike_209: swan has that calf coombalathhingy going on crab (reward is offered for the first person to understand this)
Mailbag:
Dear miss,mz, madam.
As an avid reader of tatttler, i was so disappointed , in the format of broadsheet dated' 27th October 2005, Perhaps u were limited in time, and decided to take easy way out , to print a conglomoration of peurile; self seeking e-mails from the great unwashed; especially from ,;THE BROTHERHOOD ;, A SELF PROMOTING SET OF BORES, TOSSERS, AN EGOITISTS. What i want , NAY demand , as a reader, is some salacious ,satirical,ananlysis of the inane, banal,child phsychological ramblings of escaped mental patients.
I do not want to waste 3 hours, waiting for an inferior edition, simply because , you were behind ,in publishing, smarten up lassie!!!!!!!'
Further as a non paying subscriber, i may withdaw my registartion , if i pay nothing for a service? , i want the best nothing on off Please take this in the spirit in which it was sent , anger, frustration,and sheer bloody mindedness.
i remain ,yours faithfully trusting to an early reply.
The Possilfossil
PPS. What do u want for xmas ?
The Tattler: Sometimes you're the punchbowl, sometimes you're the turd.
posted by Eye Witness at 4:40 AM
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