The Social Issues Tattler
Monday, October 24, 2005
The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.
What a calamity cluster in the halls of Social Issues this fine fall day. Rooms where opened, rooms were closed. Tiny rooms were huge, and huge rooms were none existent. Friends became foes, braggarts attacked each other, and even with all that, a great day was had by all. Pal Talk needs to rename itself " Hateful Harangues and Other Happy Times".
Conservative Atheist and Isabellah have re-teamed their horses, loaded the old chuck wagon (you never want to have Conservative hungry and hateful), jumped in their jalopy, and headed on the road to hate and happiness. Isabellah was giddy with glee as her long luxurious locks flapped in Conservative's face, but his glare was trained on her lotioned legs and freshly showered ego. Their rickety old jeep jumped over bumps and clumps as it headed into town. The two "friends" (euphemism for cyber snugglers), smiled, and broke into song as they lost themselves in each other's eyes.
(sung to the music from Endless Love , apologies to Luther and Mariah)
CA: My love There's only you in my cyber life The only thing that's right
Isabellah: My first love on Pal Talk
CA: Yeahhhhhhhh
Isabellah: You're every breath I take, You're every step I make, Every room I make.
CA and Isabellah together: And I, I want to share, All my gossip with you, No one else will do And your eyes (your eyes, your eyes) They tell me how much you care Oh, yes You'll always be My endless chat love Two hearts Two hearts that beat as one Our lives have just begun And forever I'll hold you close in my arms I can't resist your charms.
CA: And I'd play the fool And you know I do You know I don't mind
Isabellah: And yes, You mean the world to me no matter what crabby says.
(tears fall from their cheeks like rain in a Tsunami)
As the pair of prancing pedantic rounded the corner to Social Issuesville, a light bulb appeared over Isabellah's head *boing*, and she shouted "Hey CA, I have an idea, (giggle), let's open up a room, invite everyone in town, find Crabby and roast him over an open spit while we jab sharp sticks up his ass for fun (giggle), doesn't that sound wonderful, can we do it CA, can we, uh, can we please?"
"Isabellah, you know how I love to abuse women with words while you by my side. Of course we can do that you silly goose." CA giggled himself at his own words of love to his beloved Isabellah (pronounced Eyes A Bell Ah, probably because her eyes are always on his belly). CA bragged on " Why today little miss of mine, I caught Goddess in the corner and beat her into submission until she cried like a girl. Isa, it was my finest moment. I mean really, what man doesn't get off in his Y fronts when he gets to abuse a woman."
"Oh CA, I hear that and all I can say is, why don't people understand why I love you so much?" (little hearts float above Isabellah's heard, as doves chase each other in circles). "You know how to make a woman feels so much like a bucket of shit, it's breathtaking."
CA and Isabellah erected a chatter shack , and after inviting everyone but God and Hitler to attend, it was time for them to make complete and total fools of themselves. Crabbfisherman showed up, and as the midget said to the fat girl, " you sure you want to try this with me". CA and Isa tag-teamed the fisherman from the north, but they were no match for his quick pugilistic jabs and undercuts. Isabellah was very concerned about her " wet panties" and much time was spent on just how they arrived in such a condition. Crabby laid no claim to dewing her delicates, but did say Isabellah and CA reminded him of two pigs rolling in their own shit. Isabellah, (looking up from her private shit pit) insisted someone in the social issues setting did do the deed, but she just couldn't remember who. Kind of like " so many men, so few panties", or " if you damped your drawers once, the rest are redundant". The mystery of the soggy shorts was never solved, but it was made very clear that someone has a very short penis, another has a shorter memory, and although Isabellah swore off Pal Talk 'til the end of time, the end of time is nye. Welcome home Isabellah, it's been almost civil since you left.
Oh, we almost forgot, as CA was ranting about women being "insecure" he flew to his naughty nemesis for verification of his erroneous facts. "Isabellah, you tell them, okay, cause you have real book learning in psycho-ology. You tell them what you told me, Isabellah, that women sleep in the fetal position because they are all insecure" After a pause longer than a elephants pregnancy, Isabellah typed, " isabellah-1: let me clarify what i meant by the fetal position and vulnerability... it means women are vulnerable to backaches and leg cramps ... not vulnerable like "uncertain, or insecure" Isabellah, if dumb was drums, you'd be an entire band. You backpedaled like a chimp on a unicycle on that one, and not one person with a working brain cell believed you.
Rotten Ronnie, who usually has a room overflowing at three or four people, hit the mother-load today. Voo's room was had been sent to naughty school for a short time, and so the entire world of voodiots took refuge under Ronnie's Rambling Rantings and Yodeling umbrella. As the room swelled to over 80 people , Ronnie hid under his desk in his trap-doored red long johns and cried " Please make them go away, I'm scared" Walks arrived and typed "walksthedesert1: i agree voo we dont need bigots in mainstream", and Voo replied, "LordMercifulVoo: I agree, Walks. We have enough! LOL". Can you guess which one was using the community brain today?
SpudSpud mashed (pun intended) his way into the conversation, by trying to tell the room he "didn't hate American people, he only hated the American government." Right Spud, when pigs fly. You must have forgotten when you called for the "culling of all Americans", or wished death to every single American on the face of the planet spudspud_1: dumb jesuslanders created this mess. Come on Mr. Potato Head, if you're going to be hateful, be it, but don't be a hateful liar. Two are too many hats, even for you. Oh, and Spud, was that Jacquie's ass attached to your lips?
Karl sat sucking his thump and then with a woody in hand he shouted " KARL d-Az: MAINSTREAM POLITICS IS OPEN NOW. Off he pranced holding Voo and Walks hands. It was as charming as watching a dog lick his own testicles.
MothersBrule rode her limping Lakota legend into the room and was instantly jumped on like a fat dog at a flea circus. FoxyIrish had the audacity to say what Mothers talks about is of no interest to anyone. Foxy, don't look now, but the expiry date on your endless Irish prattle about the IRA, and Sinn Fein has just come due. You are the Kevin of Ireland, and do more harm to the land of green than Bobby Sands did to Weight Watchers.
Waiting for Godot must have lost the last bit of common sense he had. Today talking to CA (there's a reason for the insanity plea alone), he said " All southern states do not give employment health insurance, if you want it , you have to bring it with you from the northern states." And hell is having hockey tonight at 9pm. Godot, when you tell such exaggerated lies to the unknowledgeable, and you are caught with your tongue in the turnstile, you can never be believed again, or taken as the voice of intelligence. You also said that all the women who run rooms in Social Issues are "Nazi bitches", and you wonder why you haven't been laid since Noah shouted " Which one of you shit on my bed?"
Sr Dude is back from France. Dude is like biting into an unpeeled lemon. Bitter , makes your ass pucker, but there is something amazingly refreshing about the entire experience. Dude shoots from a French-Canadian hip, and along with leaving out too many verbs in his stories, he also leaves out the warm and fuzzy, politically correct nonsense that the lesser and spineless folks manage to interject into everything they utter. It's nice to see the old tackless fart back.
Clipper climbed out of his tree and slid under Ronnie's door in full battle gear armed with more guns than China has Chins. Clipper makes Charlie Manson look like Gandhi. It seems that Clipper warned the world of impending doom from an invasion of jock itch. He knew this would be the end of he world, because all the Gold Bond has been tainted with itching powder, by the CIA, FBI, ROP, and DOD, so they might take over the world when all the men were scratching and licking their balls in dark duct taped closets while eating tainted bologna sandwiches (sammiches to you Isabellah), and sucking back on Kool-Aid. Clipper , the only thing clipped about you is your frontal lobe.
Crazy Cajun was sitting under Clippers tree today cutting out paper dolls and singing " On da good shwip wollywop is a , a , dweep, no sleep, no peep, no. Does anyone have a quart of cold medicine? A tip Crazy, Jesus is coming, look busy.
Idiot of the day --- Isabellah
Admin of the day --- Rotten Ronnie
Nice Person of the day --- GoddessofSomethings (took more hits than Babe Ruth's bat)
Quote of the day ---- mechanic101: Most people have an opinion...some people want to keep others from giving theirs...some people attempt to control what others think...freedom of speech would allow all opinions to be voiced
Mailbag:
Sent :
Monday, October 24, 2005 4:27 PM
----- Original Message-----
From: (name omited)
To: socialissuestattler@hotmail.com Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2005 12:15 PM
Subject: Ancient Man
Dear Twatler it is a well known fact that Ancient Man was far smarter than today's, that in Cave's used by Cave Men after the flood Noah Flood that is, they found painting and tools equal to today's , so if you really know any thing about Neanderthal then you would have found an other way to get back at my stupid remark as you so put it .
They have also found musical instruments in this same era. So please go research Ancient Man . your sincerely Wee Alice
The Tattler: You sent the same message again?
Stone-age woman
Carries club to beat
Stone-age woman
Got prehistoric feet
Stone-age woman
A home-maker too
With just one tooth
You got a man to breed with you?
Scary!Stone-age woman
Would Darwin agree?
Stone-age woman
Can you say 'Ugh' clearly?
Stone-age woman
Not much removed from a monkey
Didn't fall far from the treeOuch!
Stone-age woman
Kill reptileStone-age woman
Bone hairstyleStone-age woman
You're reviling me
Stone-age woman
Ugh, ugh, ugh
Stone-age woman
Stay away
Stone-age woman
Do not stray towards me'
Cause I fear you
And you may bite
If you come near me
I'll die of fright
Stone-age woman
Please walk on by
Stone-age woman
Would you comply?
Stone-age woman
Put rock away, way away
And now she's walking past me, hurray
I'll count my lucky stars, today
Run back to my campsite, but wait
I cannot flee
Cause I'm feeling quite groggy
And she's dragged me by my feet
No, no, stone-age woman
Monday, October 24, 2005
The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.
What a calamity cluster in the halls of Social Issues this fine fall day. Rooms where opened, rooms were closed. Tiny rooms were huge, and huge rooms were none existent. Friends became foes, braggarts attacked each other, and even with all that, a great day was had by all. Pal Talk needs to rename itself " Hateful Harangues and Other Happy Times".
Conservative Atheist and Isabellah have re-teamed their horses, loaded the old chuck wagon (you never want to have Conservative hungry and hateful), jumped in their jalopy, and headed on the road to hate and happiness. Isabellah was giddy with glee as her long luxurious locks flapped in Conservative's face, but his glare was trained on her lotioned legs and freshly showered ego. Their rickety old jeep jumped over bumps and clumps as it headed into town. The two "friends" (euphemism for cyber snugglers), smiled, and broke into song as they lost themselves in each other's eyes.
(sung to the music from Endless Love , apologies to Luther and Mariah)
CA: My love There's only you in my cyber life The only thing that's right
Isabellah: My first love on Pal Talk
CA: Yeahhhhhhhh
Isabellah: You're every breath I take, You're every step I make, Every room I make.
CA and Isabellah together: And I, I want to share, All my gossip with you, No one else will do And your eyes (your eyes, your eyes) They tell me how much you care Oh, yes You'll always be My endless chat love Two hearts Two hearts that beat as one Our lives have just begun And forever I'll hold you close in my arms I can't resist your charms.
CA: And I'd play the fool And you know I do You know I don't mind
Isabellah: And yes, You mean the world to me no matter what crabby says.
(tears fall from their cheeks like rain in a Tsunami)
As the pair of prancing pedantic rounded the corner to Social Issuesville, a light bulb appeared over Isabellah's head *boing*, and she shouted "Hey CA, I have an idea, (giggle), let's open up a room, invite everyone in town, find Crabby and roast him over an open spit while we jab sharp sticks up his ass for fun (giggle), doesn't that sound wonderful, can we do it CA, can we, uh, can we please?"
"Isabellah, you know how I love to abuse women with words while you by my side. Of course we can do that you silly goose." CA giggled himself at his own words of love to his beloved Isabellah (pronounced Eyes A Bell Ah, probably because her eyes are always on his belly). CA bragged on " Why today little miss of mine, I caught Goddess in the corner and beat her into submission until she cried like a girl. Isa, it was my finest moment. I mean really, what man doesn't get off in his Y fronts when he gets to abuse a woman."
"Oh CA, I hear that and all I can say is, why don't people understand why I love you so much?" (little hearts float above Isabellah's heard, as doves chase each other in circles). "You know how to make a woman feels so much like a bucket of shit, it's breathtaking."
CA and Isabellah erected a chatter shack , and after inviting everyone but God and Hitler to attend, it was time for them to make complete and total fools of themselves. Crabbfisherman showed up, and as the midget said to the fat girl, " you sure you want to try this with me". CA and Isa tag-teamed the fisherman from the north, but they were no match for his quick pugilistic jabs and undercuts. Isabellah was very concerned about her " wet panties" and much time was spent on just how they arrived in such a condition. Crabby laid no claim to dewing her delicates, but did say Isabellah and CA reminded him of two pigs rolling in their own shit. Isabellah, (looking up from her private shit pit) insisted someone in the social issues setting did do the deed, but she just couldn't remember who. Kind of like " so many men, so few panties", or " if you damped your drawers once, the rest are redundant". The mystery of the soggy shorts was never solved, but it was made very clear that someone has a very short penis, another has a shorter memory, and although Isabellah swore off Pal Talk 'til the end of time, the end of time is nye. Welcome home Isabellah, it's been almost civil since you left.
Oh, we almost forgot, as CA was ranting about women being "insecure" he flew to his naughty nemesis for verification of his erroneous facts. "Isabellah, you tell them, okay, cause you have real book learning in psycho-ology. You tell them what you told me, Isabellah, that women sleep in the fetal position because they are all insecure" After a pause longer than a elephants pregnancy, Isabellah typed, " isabellah-1: let me clarify what i meant by the fetal position and vulnerability... it means women are vulnerable to backaches and leg cramps ... not vulnerable like "uncertain, or insecure" Isabellah, if dumb was drums, you'd be an entire band. You backpedaled like a chimp on a unicycle on that one, and not one person with a working brain cell believed you.
Rotten Ronnie, who usually has a room overflowing at three or four people, hit the mother-load today. Voo's room was had been sent to naughty school for a short time, and so the entire world of voodiots took refuge under Ronnie's Rambling Rantings and Yodeling umbrella. As the room swelled to over 80 people , Ronnie hid under his desk in his trap-doored red long johns and cried " Please make them go away, I'm scared" Walks arrived and typed "walksthedesert1: i agree voo we dont need bigots in mainstream", and Voo replied, "LordMercifulVoo: I agree, Walks. We have enough! LOL". Can you guess which one was using the community brain today?
SpudSpud mashed (pun intended) his way into the conversation, by trying to tell the room he "didn't hate American people, he only hated the American government." Right Spud, when pigs fly. You must have forgotten when you called for the "culling of all Americans", or wished death to every single American on the face of the planet spudspud_1: dumb jesuslanders created this mess. Come on Mr. Potato Head, if you're going to be hateful, be it, but don't be a hateful liar. Two are too many hats, even for you. Oh, and Spud, was that Jacquie's ass attached to your lips?
Karl sat sucking his thump and then with a woody in hand he shouted " KARL d-Az: MAINSTREAM POLITICS IS OPEN NOW. Off he pranced holding Voo and Walks hands. It was as charming as watching a dog lick his own testicles.
MothersBrule rode her limping Lakota legend into the room and was instantly jumped on like a fat dog at a flea circus. FoxyIrish had the audacity to say what Mothers talks about is of no interest to anyone. Foxy, don't look now, but the expiry date on your endless Irish prattle about the IRA, and Sinn Fein has just come due. You are the Kevin of Ireland, and do more harm to the land of green than Bobby Sands did to Weight Watchers.
Waiting for Godot must have lost the last bit of common sense he had. Today talking to CA (there's a reason for the insanity plea alone), he said " All southern states do not give employment health insurance, if you want it , you have to bring it with you from the northern states." And hell is having hockey tonight at 9pm. Godot, when you tell such exaggerated lies to the unknowledgeable, and you are caught with your tongue in the turnstile, you can never be believed again, or taken as the voice of intelligence. You also said that all the women who run rooms in Social Issues are "Nazi bitches", and you wonder why you haven't been laid since Noah shouted " Which one of you shit on my bed?"
Sr Dude is back from France. Dude is like biting into an unpeeled lemon. Bitter , makes your ass pucker, but there is something amazingly refreshing about the entire experience. Dude shoots from a French-Canadian hip, and along with leaving out too many verbs in his stories, he also leaves out the warm and fuzzy, politically correct nonsense that the lesser and spineless folks manage to interject into everything they utter. It's nice to see the old tackless fart back.
Clipper climbed out of his tree and slid under Ronnie's door in full battle gear armed with more guns than China has Chins. Clipper makes Charlie Manson look like Gandhi. It seems that Clipper warned the world of impending doom from an invasion of jock itch. He knew this would be the end of he world, because all the Gold Bond has been tainted with itching powder, by the CIA, FBI, ROP, and DOD, so they might take over the world when all the men were scratching and licking their balls in dark duct taped closets while eating tainted bologna sandwiches (sammiches to you Isabellah), and sucking back on Kool-Aid. Clipper , the only thing clipped about you is your frontal lobe.
Crazy Cajun was sitting under Clippers tree today cutting out paper dolls and singing " On da good shwip wollywop is a , a , dweep, no sleep, no peep, no. Does anyone have a quart of cold medicine? A tip Crazy, Jesus is coming, look busy.
Idiot of the day --- Isabellah
Admin of the day --- Rotten Ronnie
Nice Person of the day --- GoddessofSomethings (took more hits than Babe Ruth's bat)
Quote of the day ---- mechanic101: Most people have an opinion...some people want to keep others from giving theirs...some people attempt to control what others think...freedom of speech would allow all opinions to be voiced
Mailbag:
Sent :
Monday, October 24, 2005 4:27 PM
----- Original Message-----
From: (name omited)
To: socialissuestattler@hotmail.com Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2005 12:15 PM
Subject: Ancient Man
Dear Twatler it is a well known fact that Ancient Man was far smarter than today's, that in Cave's used by Cave Men after the flood Noah Flood that is, they found painting and tools equal to today's , so if you really know any thing about Neanderthal then you would have found an other way to get back at my stupid remark as you so put it .
They have also found musical instruments in this same era. So please go research Ancient Man . your sincerely Wee Alice
The Tattler: You sent the same message again?
Stone-age woman
Carries club to beat
Stone-age woman
Got prehistoric feet
Stone-age woman
A home-maker too
With just one tooth
You got a man to breed with you?
Scary!Stone-age woman
Would Darwin agree?
Stone-age woman
Can you say 'Ugh' clearly?
Stone-age woman
Not much removed from a monkey
Didn't fall far from the treeOuch!
Stone-age woman
Kill reptileStone-age woman
Bone hairstyleStone-age woman
You're reviling me
Stone-age woman
Ugh, ugh, ugh
Stone-age woman
Stay away
Stone-age woman
Do not stray towards me'
Cause I fear you
And you may bite
If you come near me
I'll die of fright
Stone-age woman
Please walk on by
Stone-age woman
Would you comply?
Stone-age woman
Put rock away, way away
And now she's walking past me, hurray
I'll count my lucky stars, today
Run back to my campsite, but wait
I cannot flee
Cause I'm feeling quite groggy
And she's dragged me by my feet
No, no, stone-age woman
posted by Eye Witness at 7:22 AM
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