The Social Issues Tattler
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner; Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied. The one I feed the most.
MothersBruleSioux, has been feeding her pit bull within a constant diet of red raw meat. Last night, again she dragged her poor daughter from the depths of the scullery, to explain away to strangers the private matters Mothers felt compelled to impart with about her daughter's life. Shame on you Mothers, but shame is too soft a word for the humiliation you heap on your child daily. When you aren't making a fool of yourself, you splash on war paint, and with hatchet in hand, you slice away at the last three remaining people who can tolerate you. You shout from teepee tops that you are a good mother, but sit on your ample ass on the computer, while your daughter, who has worked a full day, does the house chores. If a Native name is to be applied to you, it has to be " Mothers Crule".
The Last of the Lakotas
Fade in:
(A moccasined foot taps anxiously, waiting for the phone to ring. A short woman, dressed in buckskin, about 56, looks much older, wide arse, sits painting her fingernails as dishes are being washed in the background.This woman is called Mothers Crule)
Cut to:
(A man standing knee deep in dead cat pelts, in an cabin. Bald head, except for a Mohawk cut, tattoos cover his entire body, and a knife clenched between his teeth. The phone ripped from the wall lies in a corner. This man is called Dansaschmuck)
Dansaschmuck; (speaking to the telephone)
I'm sorry to kill you brother phone, Forgive me. I do honor to your courage and speed your death before the Lakota dialer does.
Cut to:
(Social Issues room, filled with people, laughing and having a good time. Suddenly a knock at the door. Mothers Cruel, enters, bedraggled, weary, and fingers bleeding from dialing Dan's number.)
Sits with Hat:
Welcome Mothers, come sit at our table. What brings you here? Do you bring lies from other lands?
Mothers Crule:
Your ears are too sharp, they see into my soul, but I have brought you many a story from the lands of the white man. Yes, I have, yes, I have , yes, yes , yes
(Runs with Mallet hits Mothers in the head)
Mothers Crule:
Fathers of England and France, both have more rooms than need be. They're cold and full of greed, I am weary of the white man's ways. I am headed North to the land of Dansaschmuck. The land of my loins.
Smiles with Andrea:
Where you headin'?
Mothers Crule:
To the north, Eh Lask Ah, So I can find my man and make Lokota children so our father will leave my brother & me in peace.
Peaceful Possil
If you go to the land of Dansaschmuck, he will tie you up, do unmentionable acts upon your body, scalp you and take your beaver.
Mothers Crule: (looking down at the front of her beaded buckskin dress )
You do what you want with your own beaver. Don't be telling me what to do with mine.
Cut to:
(Mothers Crule saddles up her buffalo, heads north, a travois packed heavy with dream catchers and weapons. The forests with all their dangers, now impresses ,as the dark and sinister looms in the North. Mothers reaches Dansaschmuck's cabin. Mothers slides her tomahawk out from the front of her belt that girdles her waist)
(Dansaschmuck, from inside a dark room, peers from behind a curtain, and seeing Mothers shits his pants. Mothers sees him and starts to smile. Mothers hurls herself through the window and when Dansaschmuck tries to run, she caves in the side of his groin with the spike end of the tomahawk.)
Dansaschmuck:
Ouch!
(Mothers spins, swinging her fusil like a ball-bat, upending Dansaschmuch, then lunges with her rifle butt, breaking both his legs.)
Dansaschmuck:
Okay, that hurt, damnit.
(Blood gushing from his chest wound. He's chopped down. Mothers knife blade flashes in the moonlight as she prepares to begin castrating. Dansaschmuck faints.)
(The sounds of pounding horses hooves as they grow closer to the cabin. Mothers drags Dansaschmuck by the hair out onto the freezing tundra, and to a waterfall. The Red Coats (RCMP) are approaching fast.)
Dansaschmuck: (bleeding and moaning )
Where do we go from here my little Lakota lover
Mothers Crule: (smacks Dansaschmuck's head against a rock )
This is as far as we go for now. If you're lucky, they'll be figurin we went over the falls.
(Mothers strips off her buckskin skirt and wrings it out. Tossing it at Dans)
Mothers Crule:
Keep this so the Red Coats can't follow my scent.
Mothers Crule (whispering in Dans ear, Dan's lets out a blood curdling scream)
Mothers Crule (preparing to jump into the falls to escape the Red Coats)
" If I live, I'll be back for you. I have no life, no love, no reason to live, but for you. You'll never escape me , do you understand? "
Dansaschmuck:
Yes.
Mothers Crule: (continues, as the Red Coats close in)
"Listen. Submit. You hear me? You're strong. You stay alive. I will find you ... no matter how far, how long it takes ...Stay alive for me, Stay alive do you hear.
Dansaschmuck: (nods)
(Mothers Crule jumps into the falls and swims away, screaming)
Mothers Crule
Dan, sweetie, I love you, my furry little Alaskan Malamute, don't you ever forget it. I'll be back Dan, I'll be back, back for you...(fade)
Mothers Crule stands high on a cliff, watching the Red Coats (RCMP) rescue Dansaschmuck.
Mothers Crule: (speaking to Great Fathers in the sky )
My warrior lover goes with you swift and straight as an arrow shot into the nuts. Welcome him and let him take his place at the council fire of my people. He is Beaver Snatcher, my lust. Bid him patience and ask for speed for all his women ; for they are all gone but one - I, Mothers Crule - Last of the Lakota
Fade Out.
*************************************************************************
sr dude has coupled up with Starlyin once again. sr dude tore a strip from Grunto's back today for bouncing people without dude's stamp of approval. It seems some of the hat people are tossing out anyone who doesn't pass the "kiss my ass" test. Later in the day Crabfisherman and sr dude were giving scarlet begonias tips on job hunting. crabfisherman: push up your tits and apply again" and "crabfisherman: skirt with your ass hanging out". Why these two models for feminists rights don't start up an employment service, boggles the mind.
Campingfool, was crying today about the Tattler, hurting her and others itty bitty feelwings. She thinks the writing offends some people. Why, shucks darn it all, she has even talked to people who have read the Tattler in the morning and it's ruined they're entire day. Maybe they feel a bit like Zippergate felt when you opened a room dedicated to him tickling your fancy, and then you accused him of taking money for services rendered. As memory recalls, two hundred dollars, in cold American cash from under a stack of your cotton granny panties, went missing. So, not only did you kiss, hug, snug, slap and tickle, with the man, but you told the world about it, and declared him a liar and a theif. You tried to crucify the man in a chat room created by you. Jesus took less of a beating from he Romans , than Zippergate took from you. So climb down off your cross Campingfool, the days of your whine and woeses is over.
GoddessofSomeThings has climbed the ladder of laughter, and gained the glowing esteem of many. Goddess can laugh at herself, take a joke and understand parody and satire. This is the best of Goddess, when being poked with a humor stick in her arse, she laughs. Goddess is intelligent, funny, and offers some of the best laughs Social Issues has had.
Idiot of the day ---MothersBruleSioux
Admin of the day --- sr dude
Nice person of he day --- Goddess of Some Things
Quote of the day ---Andrea 2-U: I can see it now: "Luminol, wah wah wah...and another thing...sniff sniff sniff....and then there is boo hoo hoo and my final word is cry cry cry"
Mailbag:
YOUR GETTING BORING PENIS BREATH
greeneyes
The Tattler: (gulping down tons of Tic Tacs) Thank you from the bottom of my molars. Not many people have the courage and fortitude to tell a friend when halitosis has set in. You greeneyes are a true gentlewoman and a scholar. I mean really, penis breath is horrible enough to inflict on the unsuspecting, but boring penis breath is the axis of evil. I'm forever in your debt.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner; Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied. The one I feed the most.
MothersBruleSioux, has been feeding her pit bull within a constant diet of red raw meat. Last night, again she dragged her poor daughter from the depths of the scullery, to explain away to strangers the private matters Mothers felt compelled to impart with about her daughter's life. Shame on you Mothers, but shame is too soft a word for the humiliation you heap on your child daily. When you aren't making a fool of yourself, you splash on war paint, and with hatchet in hand, you slice away at the last three remaining people who can tolerate you. You shout from teepee tops that you are a good mother, but sit on your ample ass on the computer, while your daughter, who has worked a full day, does the house chores. If a Native name is to be applied to you, it has to be " Mothers Crule".
The Last of the Lakotas
Fade in:
(A moccasined foot taps anxiously, waiting for the phone to ring. A short woman, dressed in buckskin, about 56, looks much older, wide arse, sits painting her fingernails as dishes are being washed in the background.This woman is called Mothers Crule)
Cut to:
(A man standing knee deep in dead cat pelts, in an cabin. Bald head, except for a Mohawk cut, tattoos cover his entire body, and a knife clenched between his teeth. The phone ripped from the wall lies in a corner. This man is called Dansaschmuck)
Dansaschmuck; (speaking to the telephone)
I'm sorry to kill you brother phone, Forgive me. I do honor to your courage and speed your death before the Lakota dialer does.
Cut to:
(Social Issues room, filled with people, laughing and having a good time. Suddenly a knock at the door. Mothers Cruel, enters, bedraggled, weary, and fingers bleeding from dialing Dan's number.)
Sits with Hat:
Welcome Mothers, come sit at our table. What brings you here? Do you bring lies from other lands?
Mothers Crule:
Your ears are too sharp, they see into my soul, but I have brought you many a story from the lands of the white man. Yes, I have, yes, I have , yes, yes , yes
(Runs with Mallet hits Mothers in the head)
Mothers Crule:
Fathers of England and France, both have more rooms than need be. They're cold and full of greed, I am weary of the white man's ways. I am headed North to the land of Dansaschmuck. The land of my loins.
Smiles with Andrea:
Where you headin'?
Mothers Crule:
To the north, Eh Lask Ah, So I can find my man and make Lokota children so our father will leave my brother & me in peace.
Peaceful Possil
If you go to the land of Dansaschmuck, he will tie you up, do unmentionable acts upon your body, scalp you and take your beaver.
Mothers Crule: (looking down at the front of her beaded buckskin dress )
You do what you want with your own beaver. Don't be telling me what to do with mine.
Cut to:
(Mothers Crule saddles up her buffalo, heads north, a travois packed heavy with dream catchers and weapons. The forests with all their dangers, now impresses ,as the dark and sinister looms in the North. Mothers reaches Dansaschmuck's cabin. Mothers slides her tomahawk out from the front of her belt that girdles her waist)
(Dansaschmuck, from inside a dark room, peers from behind a curtain, and seeing Mothers shits his pants. Mothers sees him and starts to smile. Mothers hurls herself through the window and when Dansaschmuck tries to run, she caves in the side of his groin with the spike end of the tomahawk.)
Dansaschmuck:
Ouch!
(Mothers spins, swinging her fusil like a ball-bat, upending Dansaschmuch, then lunges with her rifle butt, breaking both his legs.)
Dansaschmuck:
Okay, that hurt, damnit.
(Blood gushing from his chest wound. He's chopped down. Mothers knife blade flashes in the moonlight as she prepares to begin castrating. Dansaschmuck faints.)
(The sounds of pounding horses hooves as they grow closer to the cabin. Mothers drags Dansaschmuck by the hair out onto the freezing tundra, and to a waterfall. The Red Coats (RCMP) are approaching fast.)
Dansaschmuck: (bleeding and moaning )
Where do we go from here my little Lakota lover
Mothers Crule: (smacks Dansaschmuck's head against a rock )
This is as far as we go for now. If you're lucky, they'll be figurin we went over the falls.
(Mothers strips off her buckskin skirt and wrings it out. Tossing it at Dans)
Mothers Crule:
Keep this so the Red Coats can't follow my scent.
Mothers Crule (whispering in Dans ear, Dan's lets out a blood curdling scream)
Mothers Crule (preparing to jump into the falls to escape the Red Coats)
" If I live, I'll be back for you. I have no life, no love, no reason to live, but for you. You'll never escape me , do you understand? "
Dansaschmuck:
Yes.
Mothers Crule: (continues, as the Red Coats close in)
"Listen. Submit. You hear me? You're strong. You stay alive. I will find you ... no matter how far, how long it takes ...Stay alive for me, Stay alive do you hear.
Dansaschmuck: (nods)
(Mothers Crule jumps into the falls and swims away, screaming)
Mothers Crule
Dan, sweetie, I love you, my furry little Alaskan Malamute, don't you ever forget it. I'll be back Dan, I'll be back, back for you...(fade)
Mothers Crule stands high on a cliff, watching the Red Coats (RCMP) rescue Dansaschmuck.
Mothers Crule: (speaking to Great Fathers in the sky )
My warrior lover goes with you swift and straight as an arrow shot into the nuts. Welcome him and let him take his place at the council fire of my people. He is Beaver Snatcher, my lust. Bid him patience and ask for speed for all his women ; for they are all gone but one - I, Mothers Crule - Last of the Lakota
Fade Out.
*************************************************************************
sr dude has coupled up with Starlyin once again. sr dude tore a strip from Grunto's back today for bouncing people without dude's stamp of approval. It seems some of the hat people are tossing out anyone who doesn't pass the "kiss my ass" test. Later in the day Crabfisherman and sr dude were giving scarlet begonias tips on job hunting. crabfisherman: push up your tits and apply again" and "crabfisherman: skirt with your ass hanging out". Why these two models for feminists rights don't start up an employment service, boggles the mind.
Campingfool, was crying today about the Tattler, hurting her and others itty bitty feelwings. She thinks the writing offends some people. Why, shucks darn it all, she has even talked to people who have read the Tattler in the morning and it's ruined they're entire day. Maybe they feel a bit like Zippergate felt when you opened a room dedicated to him tickling your fancy, and then you accused him of taking money for services rendered. As memory recalls, two hundred dollars, in cold American cash from under a stack of your cotton granny panties, went missing. So, not only did you kiss, hug, snug, slap and tickle, with the man, but you told the world about it, and declared him a liar and a theif. You tried to crucify the man in a chat room created by you. Jesus took less of a beating from he Romans , than Zippergate took from you. So climb down off your cross Campingfool, the days of your whine and woeses is over.
GoddessofSomeThings has climbed the ladder of laughter, and gained the glowing esteem of many. Goddess can laugh at herself, take a joke and understand parody and satire. This is the best of Goddess, when being poked with a humor stick in her arse, she laughs. Goddess is intelligent, funny, and offers some of the best laughs Social Issues has had.
Idiot of the day ---MothersBruleSioux
Admin of the day --- sr dude
Nice person of he day --- Goddess of Some Things
Quote of the day ---Andrea 2-U: I can see it now: "Luminol, wah wah wah...and another thing...sniff sniff sniff....and then there is boo hoo hoo and my final word is cry cry cry"
Mailbag:
YOUR GETTING BORING PENIS BREATH
greeneyes
The Tattler: (gulping down tons of Tic Tacs) Thank you from the bottom of my molars. Not many people have the courage and fortitude to tell a friend when halitosis has set in. You greeneyes are a true gentlewoman and a scholar. I mean really, penis breath is horrible enough to inflict on the unsuspecting, but boring penis breath is the axis of evil. I'm forever in your debt.
posted by Eye Witness at 3:22 PM
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