The Social Issues Tattler

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

All the world's idiots loved VooVille a lot
So the Voo booted out of law school saw attention to be got
The Voo loved his notoriety with a greed almost pure
Don't ask us just why, 'cause we're not really sure.

The people in Social Issues, he loves to give shit
Or maybe because of sycophants he'd become it.
Most likely, I think, making fame his goal
Is that the Voo is simply devoid of a soul.

It didn't really matter- lack of soul or bad fan-ling
As he sat in rooms and started a'rambling.
Over a dish of chicken fried smacking lips galore,
He spied the teaming masses in the room next door.
He knew that inside those rooms folks were numbing
Multiple personal attacks kept his name continuously humming.

And he would watch the shouting damnation
Done by Karl with Karen's ammunition.
With no critical thinking far as his eye could see,
They never understood what freedom could be,
And Speech.- that was practically FREE!
Free! Free! It was practically FREE!
And free was a thing he knew just mustn't be!

Somehow he must tap this boundless resource
(To help ease pain from his third divorce.)
And the more the Voo figured that he could get laid
The more the Voo thought that a room should be made.
"There must be a way I can milk this cash cow-
I must make a room- I must --- but How?"

Then he got an idea, a horrible thought.
The Voo figured out that people could be bought.
"I know what to do! I'm so full of shit!
I'll collect all the dummies and make Mainstream a hit!

I'll fill Karl's brain with green slime and horse shit!
I'll dazzle the audience with facts that don't fit!
I must find my Mainstream an adorable room toy
And bash and smash him till his pants he does soil!"


You're avaricious, you nasty Voo
You just can't get enough
You attack with spitting venom
And then say to them "That's tough!"
Nasty Voo!
You're a rabid bastard- with a coat of mangy scruff.

Still, the story's too short, and he has to insert
Some ancient resume lest Karl's feelings get hurt.
And the more intelligent the newbies, the more insults inserting
To keep all those VooVillians feelings from hurting.

But before he could subject them to admin's abuse
He'd need Karen Dancing's permission- Mrs. Voo Seuss.
Unless she consented, unless she was willin'
They'd be tossing away one hundred ten milli'n.

Now the Voo was so sneaky and so full of guile
He enraptured the VooVillians in a tenth of a while

Then the Voo turned to line up the suckers
And the eager response was a line of lip puckers

First up was an ass kiss from Karen Dances
With a hat at risk she was takin' no chances!
And other ass kissers like Frank the dog!
And of course Nooogie's rambling ridiculous blog.

Republicans shouted and stuck up their hand,
First MosesKnows, then Brutelogic, and then Scarletland.
Virginia and others, tried to make some sense,
But VooVille didn't understand them, they were much too dense.

You're a bad guy, silly Voo,
You're a fame seeking thug
You've got the mind of
a slimy, goopy slug!
Egotistical Voo !

Soon it was done- a fait accompli if you will
And so Voo waits for his room to fill.
So what if they slaughter one of the chatters within?
So the people of Vooville knew nothing of sin.
So to the Voo's fifty three inhabitants, The good room had just two
His room so hatefilled you could drive a moose through
Voo sings "I'm so fabulous" and you're forced to ask
If he'd just had a job, would he be such an ass.

Is Mainstream really hateful?
Why don't be absurd!
It's just the Internet, or hadn't you heard?

"Don't worry, don't fret, don't look so perplexed-
Just wait 'til you see what's coming up next!
Some Voovillians will form a star-studded nation
While the republicans are promoting massive deVoosteration.
The Butter Battle Book's adapted to support a big war-
Just give them some time, and they'll come up with more!"

And so, sadly to us, our illusions are shattered,
Were we naive to believe that the facts still mattered?
As the room opens filling most others with chagrin,
Voo and Voovillians watch the idiots roll in.
You infuriate me, nasty Voo
You're an unrepentant schmuck
You've mastered the morons
And you're room surely does suck
Nasty Mr Voo!
I've got just one thing to say to you and I'll say it right now
"Give back decent conversation, and maybe then you can take a bow!"

There is no happy ending, no soul we can save,
Just poor Barrister spinning 'round in his grave
************************************************************************************************************************
As bad as VooVille can get, nothing can compare to the reprehensible rot rising from Boazlyin Land of late. Mothers time in Social Issues was coming to an end, and Boaz's room numbers were dropping like a fat girl's frock on prom night, so Boaz created the mother of all train wrecks (pun intended). Starlyin has been pimping Dan (The Lone Stranger), and his sidekick Lakota Tonto were welcomed back into the fold, because without them, there is no room. Sadly both Mothers and Dan would steal the pennies off a dead babies eyes for fifteen minutes of fame, and Boaz is not above using anyone for his cause to be bigger in Social Issues than his fat, obnoxious head. As the Mothers and Dan moron montage played out, Boaz needed another victim, so he sunk his teeth into bigotry saying " I can't figgur out what is wrong with calling blacks nigger." And there in lies the problem. Boaz doesn't get it, as much as Hitler didn't get the Jews had a right to exist on this planet.

Boaz's scrambled to save his room numbers after Mothers left in anger. He chasted the room for chewing on her ankles for her nonsensical statements. When he failed juxtaposing brains and buffoonery, his next target was Chat Attack, and if you have never witnessed evil vs. good, this was it. Boaz tried to toss his hate and bigotry off of himself and onto Chat, because Chat was appalled by Mothers treatment of her daughter two nights ago, and told her so. (The Tattler refuses to write what Mothers asked her daughter, because of our steadfast rule about children). " Chat Attack: should have just said he was slinging shit hoping some would stick ", no truer words spoken. Boaz kept pounding away at Chat, but Chat had truth, logic, and reputation on her side, making Boaz look the mind rapper he is. Boaz , the only one who follows Mothers to sniff her ass, is you.

Tornado staggered into Boazlyin Land a bit earlier, and after a relentless molesting of Tornado's character (what little he has) by Sultan of Sleeze (who doesn't love a man who can brag about his short comings) Tornado dived for the gutter attacking homosexuals and wishing death to Sultan by aids. Tornado was still yapping about Sabrina, a woman who loved him as much as a hooker loves a good dose of the clap.

In Social Infishtation today, Crabfisherman, Shamrock, and Ravenn shared booze anecdotes, while comparing IQ's. Shamrock said her IQ is 168, (must have been taken on a big scale at weight watchers). Shamrock also said "Most alcoholics are the educated " when confessing her own battle with the bottle. That must leave drunk for the dumb. This room needs to be renamed "Crime of the Sauce".

Sensibly Forward, crabfisherman, Tornado and Hoffbrau were fighting today about science and theology. Who doesn't love watching pigs dive for turds.

Grunto closes his room faster than a Scotsman's wallet when the dinner check arrives.

Truman doesn't care what the Tattler writes. (Thank ya Jaysus)

Idiot of the year (We hate repeating ourselves)----Boaz

Admin of the day ---- Rotten Ronnie (closed his room when it went downhill )

Nice person of the day --- Suzanne aka Umystifyme (Thank you)

Quote of the day ---- Chat Attack: FUCK UOU (Spelling is a tad off, but the message is clear )

Mailbag:

5)To belittle children or minorities is the purest form of hate.

What a fucking asinine comparison. You expose your self as a typical liberal fuck stain, comparing the defenselessness /innocence and unaccounability due to lack of cognitive ability of a child, with a minority. Typical yippy(yuppy-hippy) paternalistic, condescending and indeed intrinsically racist view of minorities that you and your fellow liberals have institutionalised into our culture.

Typical hypocritical condescending self delusional racist position of a lefty who hasn't the intelligence to even see the irony of them selves pointing the waggling finger of judgement at every Tom Dick and HARRY for being racist when you your self are just as racist, even if you and your kind perceive your positions as benevolent and altruistic. Wake the fuck up to your self.

The Tattler: Did you just call me a ruttish beef-witted hugger-mugger?